I have these crazy notions in my life of what makes for good conversation. These notions keep me from wanting to be more social. One of these notions is that people want to hear good news, as opposed to bad news. When I ask someone about how their life is going, I want that person to be able to reply with "it's good", "it's wonderful", "it's peachy", or even "it couldn't be better". Since I often cannot reply with those answers that I want to hear to that question, I find myself not wanting to be social. Who wants to hear "it's bad", "it's all chaotic", "I don't want to talk about it", or even "it's like the state of America's economy, confused and completely out of whack with no lifesaver in sight"? Perhaps I'm being melodramatic (but this is my blog and I can dramatize if I want to) (I'm totally hearing the melody of "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" right now because a parody of my previous statement would be fantastic).
I'm sure there are a lot of people who feel dissatisfied with the state of their lives these days. I can hear my mother now in my head, "The only person who can change your life is you." Thanks, Mom voice that lives inside my head.
Anyway, back to my notions of good conversation. I also feel like even if you don't like the state of your life, there should be something good you can say about it. For instance, being able to say, "I'm getting married" implies that something is going right in your life because someone loves you enough to commit to you. That would be nice to say. Something else nice to say would be "I just won Megabucks!!" Mind you, Megabucks could be replaced with "the lottery", "the Publisher's Clearinghouse sweepstakes", or "a buttload of money" to get the same effect. That sort of statement is exciting.
There are more noble statements like "I am working hard at such-and-such", which implies you have purpose in your life. What is more noble than a hard day's work? (Well, I can answer that one. Taking on noble professions like those of a nurse, teacher, or secretary elevates the nobility of your hard day's work because you aren't getting paid what you should be getting paid to help mankind and shape young minds.) In any case, being able to say I'm working hard has merit and is worth discussing in good conversation.
But what about if you live your life with a great deal of uncertainty? And you are just floating along with none of the aforementioned good things to say? Many a time, you feel your life is in shambles and you'd rather hide away from people to avoid the bad conversation you'd produce on the aforementioned subjects (state of health, recent excitement, love, and productivity). I'm sure there are others out there like me who would rather crawl back into their shell instead of bothering to be social.
I believe that if you don't have anything good to say about your life, you could just listen and try to be nice to people. The only problem with that is that there are a rare few individuals who you will meet who are not self-absorbed and who will eventually start to care about you. In other words, people will want to ask you those accursed questions about your life. Then, you curse to yourself inside your head and try to find something nice to say about your life. You try to find your inner Pollyanna, but you're frazzled because you're worried that you're taking too long to come up with an answer. You think, "Oh no! I hope this person doesn't think I'm a complete imbecile."
Perhaps, the only solution becomes sarcasm. In my case, I can't help but be a little sarcastic at times, so perhaps a little sarcasm won't alienate the masses. At least, that is my hope.
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