Another semester has started again. To be honest, I'm already feeling intimidated. Since I had a bad semester awhile back where things didn't go so well grade-wise (technically, I maintained a 3.0, but I had to drop classes), my confidence has been shaken. I'm so afraid I'll fail again. Sometimes, I feel so ridiculous for still being in school. I'm worried that I'll just dig myself a huge loan debt hole that I won't be able to crawl out of later.
Even though I have these doubts sometimes, I usually prove to myself that I can excel. I took Fundamentals of Logic Design last semester. I thought I was going to fail that course the entire semester, but I kept working at it and earned an A. And that class was no joke.
I just hope that everything runs smoothly this semester and I survive. Because I truly believe that if I do well in Statics (after having already taken it before), then I can handle anything.
I wonder if it is silly to make the outcome of a hard class define my capabilities. I am likely too hard on myself. I've taken many classes over the years. When I look back, the prominently hard classes stand out like Organic Chemistry and Statics. Yet, when I really think about it, I found Calculus I and II challenging as well. Upper-level statistics courses were also challenging. As such, maybe the classes I take are hard in general to anybody.
There was a Cracked article I read awhile back about how smart people are misportrayed on television as having superhuman abilities. The article was called "5 Things TV Writers Apparently Believe About Smart People", C. Coville wrote it, and this is the link: http://www.cracked.com/article_18960_5-things-tv-writers-apparently-believe-about-smart-people_p2.html. The article indicated that people on television have immaculate skills in multiple disciplines, when real professionals might have skills in multiple areas and only one specialty where they have immaculate skill. I like that the Cracked article pointed out the truth: that intelligence takes hard work and a lot of time (because it's true). Staying smart is a lifelong endeavor.
The enrichment gained from reading and educating myself on various subjects makes me happy to be a human. Yet, I must also convince myself that I am human and that struggling with academic work is okay.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Short Obsessions Enhance Societal Conversation; Long Uncontrollable Obsessions are a Waste of Time
There are so many obsessions out there waiting to attract people. Some people obsess over celebrities. Other people obsess about television shows. Many people obsess over book series, like yours truly. With a world full of romantic comedy movies and reality shows such as The Bachelor, how are women not supposed to obsess over crushes, the illusion of "the perfect man" (whether he be knight, doctor, or the ever-popular Prince Charming)?
Well, I've spent a long time obsessing over crushes and this impossible ideal man. I've come to the conclusion that obsessing about what isn't possible or what is only a fantasy is pointless. Women should stop obsessing about the ideal partner and start obsessing about themselves.
I feel that it is important to figure myself out and feel secure with the direction of my life before chasing after men. I want to feel confident enough to be sustainable as an entity without requiring reassurances expressed by a partner. I want to feel confident in the state of my life before I try to be a part of someone else's life. I want to feel rather that I don't need a man to fulfill my life, but want a specific man to be a part of my life and am willing to give up my solitude to make this happen.
Yet, the question is: do we ever really figure ourselves out completely or is that a lifelong mission? If it is a lifelong mission to understand ourselves, can we rationally set an order to our life as aforementioned? "I will worry about romance after I have finished my education and start a career." I wonder about this philosophical idea. Those of us who like order want to focus on one goal at a time. We want to finish one thing before starting on another. Sure, this can be attempted with schoolwork, or structuring our meals.
Yet, can this work with bigger life goals? Does love run on a schedule or is it an act of God? Do we really know any answer to any question? While I don't know what life has in store for me, the only life I can completely control is my own.
Thus, I believe that people should stop focusing on what others are doing or not doing and focus more on what that individual person is doing to improve their life. When we make our lives better, we feel better about ourselves and attract better company.
Although the occasional short obsession with something harmless like a book series or favorite Olympic sport is a nice vacation and these short obsessions will benefit societal conversation. Hence, is it wise to obsess more about ourselves than about the actions of people we cannot control. Short obsessions about books and sports can enhance life in moderation.
Well, I've spent a long time obsessing over crushes and this impossible ideal man. I've come to the conclusion that obsessing about what isn't possible or what is only a fantasy is pointless. Women should stop obsessing about the ideal partner and start obsessing about themselves.
I feel that it is important to figure myself out and feel secure with the direction of my life before chasing after men. I want to feel confident enough to be sustainable as an entity without requiring reassurances expressed by a partner. I want to feel confident in the state of my life before I try to be a part of someone else's life. I want to feel rather that I don't need a man to fulfill my life, but want a specific man to be a part of my life and am willing to give up my solitude to make this happen.
Yet, the question is: do we ever really figure ourselves out completely or is that a lifelong mission? If it is a lifelong mission to understand ourselves, can we rationally set an order to our life as aforementioned? "I will worry about romance after I have finished my education and start a career." I wonder about this philosophical idea. Those of us who like order want to focus on one goal at a time. We want to finish one thing before starting on another. Sure, this can be attempted with schoolwork, or structuring our meals.
Yet, can this work with bigger life goals? Does love run on a schedule or is it an act of God? Do we really know any answer to any question? While I don't know what life has in store for me, the only life I can completely control is my own.
Thus, I believe that people should stop focusing on what others are doing or not doing and focus more on what that individual person is doing to improve their life. When we make our lives better, we feel better about ourselves and attract better company.
Although the occasional short obsession with something harmless like a book series or favorite Olympic sport is a nice vacation and these short obsessions will benefit societal conversation. Hence, is it wise to obsess more about ourselves than about the actions of people we cannot control. Short obsessions about books and sports can enhance life in moderation.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Angels, Demons, Math Enthusiast, Movie Trains, and a Project
I was flipping through the channels earlier and found that the Science Fiction channel was showing Angels and Demons again. I noticed that Angels and Demons comes on a lot on that channel these days. Since I had never watched the movie before and own the book, I figured I would watch it. I was pleasantly surprised to find the movie was well done. Sometimes I worry that movies based on books will take liberties that impugn the integrity of the work. Thankfully, this movie stayed true to the book and was quite enjoyable.
I have read the whole Robert Langdon trilogy. Due to my enthusiasm for mathematics, my favorite book in the trilogy will always be The DaVinci Code. Fibonacci series, be still my heart!! I appreciate it when authors try to illustrate the beauty and majestic nature of math. Showing how math applies in real-life is a surefire way to recruit for the industry (unlike some meat mathematician commercials which are plain offensive: attractive mathematicians exist, people!).
I worry about the last book in the Langdon trilogy (The Lost Symbol) becoming a movie because the villain is disturbingly crazy. However, I'm convinced that Tom Hanks has magical powers, as in his movies are always good (pointing at self --> Tom Hanks fan). Thus, the movie will likely do well and I may end up forking over the $10 to see the movie in theaters if I'm feeling particularly conformist. Then again, perhaps the Dan Brown movie train is not as conformist as the Twilight series movie train these days. Thus, I may be able to save face and maintain originality in seeing an intellectual movie over movies with supernatural beings in the form of eye candy (although the Mar-ster loves her some eye candy). I suppose this presumption of movie train popularity is neither here nor there.
I will say that the only reason I haven't gone to see the latest Twilight movie is that I have not been able to read the last book yet. Every time I visit my local library, I look to see if the book is available. To my dismay, it is never sitting on a shelf waiting for me to check it out. Granted, there are such possibilities as requesting it from other libraries. Yet, I haven't found myself inclined to be so glued to a book that I stay up all night reading it like an obsessive crazy person (because that is just how addictive the past three books were to this book junkie).
My little brother helped me finish painting my room over winter break. Thank you, Matt!! Then, I spent some time rearranging my room furniture. Now, I have the fun task of skimming, labeling, and organizing my school stuff back into shelves.
I'm probably going to go on a shopping adventure to find cheap bookends so I can accommodate all of my books that need to be shelved. I have accumulated a lot of books over the years from school classes, family gifts, library stores and science building giveaways. As such, I am that much closer to living in my own personal library (sigh of elation).
Now that I have watched Angels and Demons, I am actually thinking about pulling out the Langdon trilogy when I run across it during these room tasks and reading for fun while I can before the semester starts up again. Then again, I could end up hemming a pair of jeans or working on room organization instead. I suppose I will just see what happens. Regardless of what I choose to do, it will likely be fun or at least productive.
I have read the whole Robert Langdon trilogy. Due to my enthusiasm for mathematics, my favorite book in the trilogy will always be The DaVinci Code. Fibonacci series, be still my heart!! I appreciate it when authors try to illustrate the beauty and majestic nature of math. Showing how math applies in real-life is a surefire way to recruit for the industry (unlike some meat mathematician commercials which are plain offensive: attractive mathematicians exist, people!).
I worry about the last book in the Langdon trilogy (The Lost Symbol) becoming a movie because the villain is disturbingly crazy. However, I'm convinced that Tom Hanks has magical powers, as in his movies are always good (pointing at self --> Tom Hanks fan). Thus, the movie will likely do well and I may end up forking over the $10 to see the movie in theaters if I'm feeling particularly conformist. Then again, perhaps the Dan Brown movie train is not as conformist as the Twilight series movie train these days. Thus, I may be able to save face and maintain originality in seeing an intellectual movie over movies with supernatural beings in the form of eye candy (although the Mar-ster loves her some eye candy). I suppose this presumption of movie train popularity is neither here nor there.
I will say that the only reason I haven't gone to see the latest Twilight movie is that I have not been able to read the last book yet. Every time I visit my local library, I look to see if the book is available. To my dismay, it is never sitting on a shelf waiting for me to check it out. Granted, there are such possibilities as requesting it from other libraries. Yet, I haven't found myself inclined to be so glued to a book that I stay up all night reading it like an obsessive crazy person (because that is just how addictive the past three books were to this book junkie).
My little brother helped me finish painting my room over winter break. Thank you, Matt!! Then, I spent some time rearranging my room furniture. Now, I have the fun task of skimming, labeling, and organizing my school stuff back into shelves.
I'm probably going to go on a shopping adventure to find cheap bookends so I can accommodate all of my books that need to be shelved. I have accumulated a lot of books over the years from school classes, family gifts, library stores and science building giveaways. As such, I am that much closer to living in my own personal library (sigh of elation).
Now that I have watched Angels and Demons, I am actually thinking about pulling out the Langdon trilogy when I run across it during these room tasks and reading for fun while I can before the semester starts up again. Then again, I could end up hemming a pair of jeans or working on room organization instead. I suppose I will just see what happens. Regardless of what I choose to do, it will likely be fun or at least productive.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Why Can't We Know The Future (To Make Better Choices)
I'm starting to think my problem might be fear. I'm afraid that whatever I choose to do, it might end up being a mistake.
It is unfair that we are expected to make decisions without knowing the ultimate consequences. I believe life should be like those Goosebumps books that have multiple endings based on choices. We should be able to read the endings from each possible choice, think about it, and choose the best life out of the options.
When we're given incomplete information, it makes any decision sketchy at best. Sure, we can sit there and know what we are good at and like. We can also sit there and know what we're weak at and hate. Then, we can make out lists and analyze ourselves to death (said from someone who is a professional self-analyzer).
I would just like to know for sure that when I finish a degree, that I'll be skilled in that profession and that I will enjoy the job. I've heard it said before that people do not have to enjoy their job. Yet, I believe that people should enjoy their job. Also, I believe that although importance of job satisfaction varies from person to person, I'm the sort of person who needs to enjoy what I do in order to motivate myself to actually do the work. Otherwise, I'd rather be creative, write, daydream, solve puzzles, read a book, so on and so forth. As strange as it is, my personality code is Investigative Conventional Artistic. This is unusual because Artistic is on the other side of the RIASEC hexagon from investigative and conventional. This is a no-no. Hence, I'm a tad bit eccentric.
Other people do not care so much whether or not they enjoy their careers. And I say more power to them. A part of me wishes I didn't care at all like other people. Yet, I do and I will accept that.
If I was going for meeting all of my RIASEC letter codes, the closest profession to that is Architect. Yet, if I switched from engineering to architecture, I'd be considered a traitor in the engineering world. Maybe it is worth looking into, though. It might be fun to be a traitor. Hehe.
In all seriousness, choosing a major when I'm still trying to figure out myself is challenging. And I'm sure many other people can relate. Is it best to base the decision on test results, how well we do in classes, traditional family professions, or on what tasks we like to do? There is no universal answer that works for everyone. At least, not one in America. I can't say the same of other countries that assign their citizenry professions (those lucky ducks).
Most of the time, having choices is a great privilege. Sometimes, however, having choices is a pain in the butt. This is America.
It is unfair that we are expected to make decisions without knowing the ultimate consequences. I believe life should be like those Goosebumps books that have multiple endings based on choices. We should be able to read the endings from each possible choice, think about it, and choose the best life out of the options.
When we're given incomplete information, it makes any decision sketchy at best. Sure, we can sit there and know what we are good at and like. We can also sit there and know what we're weak at and hate. Then, we can make out lists and analyze ourselves to death (said from someone who is a professional self-analyzer).
I would just like to know for sure that when I finish a degree, that I'll be skilled in that profession and that I will enjoy the job. I've heard it said before that people do not have to enjoy their job. Yet, I believe that people should enjoy their job. Also, I believe that although importance of job satisfaction varies from person to person, I'm the sort of person who needs to enjoy what I do in order to motivate myself to actually do the work. Otherwise, I'd rather be creative, write, daydream, solve puzzles, read a book, so on and so forth. As strange as it is, my personality code is Investigative Conventional Artistic. This is unusual because Artistic is on the other side of the RIASEC hexagon from investigative and conventional. This is a no-no. Hence, I'm a tad bit eccentric.
Other people do not care so much whether or not they enjoy their careers. And I say more power to them. A part of me wishes I didn't care at all like other people. Yet, I do and I will accept that.
If I was going for meeting all of my RIASEC letter codes, the closest profession to that is Architect. Yet, if I switched from engineering to architecture, I'd be considered a traitor in the engineering world. Maybe it is worth looking into, though. It might be fun to be a traitor. Hehe.
In all seriousness, choosing a major when I'm still trying to figure out myself is challenging. And I'm sure many other people can relate. Is it best to base the decision on test results, how well we do in classes, traditional family professions, or on what tasks we like to do? There is no universal answer that works for everyone. At least, not one in America. I can't say the same of other countries that assign their citizenry professions (those lucky ducks).
Most of the time, having choices is a great privilege. Sometimes, however, having choices is a pain in the butt. This is America.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)